Couples usually say they married their best friend. Well maybe, but your spouse doesn’t always have the one key ingredient that your best friend has. What should we call it? It may be different for each person. For me, I would call it speaking the same language.

My childhood friend remains my best friend to this day. When we were kids, both sets of parents said the other girl talked to loud or too fast. The fact is, we speak the same language. We both have wonderful husbands. Both our husbands are mild- mannered and supportive.

I love my husband but every now and then need girlfriend time. My friend and I can go from venting to crying to laughing all in the same conversation. We speak too loudly and have to catch ourselves to tone it down. We speak fast and our pitch raises with excitement.

Neither of us are wealthy and we’ve had separate differing life experiences but there is no judgement, no pretenses and what you see is exactly what you get. There is no cleaning up the house first before you can come in. Take it as is or leave it. The messy life situations are what they are. The journey is one of a lifetime.

We accept each other’s children just the way they are. The door is always open and the couch ready if needed. We’ve been through marriages, divorces, births and losses. We pick up just where we left off as if it were yesterday.

One day, our bodies will start giving out, styles will change, the world will move on with each new generation. We will be caring for medical needs of spouses and probably start talking about Doctor visits like our elders did. Our children and grandchildren will probably not want to hear it but we all end up the same with age.

I suspect that even when we have gray hair, we will still be like the middle school, high school, young moms and protective matriarchs of the household we have always been. Our husbands will probably still be smiling and just letting us get carried away in our conversations. We will probably be talking too loudly and too fast. What can I say? We speak the same language. Yes, that’s definitely the key ingredient for us.

When life gets you down, you don’t need unsolicited advice or substances or even paid therapy. A good hour in good company where you are loved will do.